Sinead O’Connor – St Johns Church Hackney
So last night I went to see noted Irish Rastafarian Sinead O’Connor live in St John’s Church in Hackney -
It was part of a week-long series of concerts in the church for the charity Mencap, curated by radio DJ Jo Whiley.
Sinead O’Connor I find to be a bit of an oddity in terms of her place in the pop music landscape. By all rights she should be pitched vaguely somewhere in the same realm as a less-prolific Irish PJ Harvey, whilst some of her later material has been patchy, at least 3 of her early studio albums (namely “The Lion and The Cobra”, “I Do Not Want What I Have Not Got” and “Universal Mother”) should have secured her some sort of musical legend status. Yet in many ways, despite the strength of (some) of her material, Sinead seems to be viewed more as a one-hit-wonder in the eyes of many, and drifting in the realm of eccentric joke in the eyes of others.
I find this unfair because, as I previously stated, I find her first 3 full studio albums (discounting covers album that ended her commercial peak rather swiftly “Am I Not Your Girl?”) to be 3 incredibly strong pieces of work, particularly her debut “The Lion And The Cobra” which seems to be by-and-large forgotten by the general population (of the world). Listening to “The Lion And The Cobra” back now in 2011, in many ways it is an album that would fit right in with the grunge revival that burst back into fashion over the last few years (and obviously inspired recent albums from Yuck and The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart), the lighter side of grunge at least. Its dark, angry, bass-heavy with a good amount of guitar -
and it also came from the same ballpark time-period, yet it is rarely ever mentioned these days, perhaps because the person singing it is the slightly tainted Sinead O’Connor. WHO KNOWS. ANYWAY this post wasn’t a retrospective on her first album, it was about her gig.
I was rather apprehensive as to what to expect, having never seen Sinead live before, and having heard various accounts over the years as to what she was like as a performer these days – Rumours that she only played reggae music these days, that she had grown dreadlocks, that she would play “Rivers Of Babylon” by Boney M, that she refuses to play a lot of her old material…I would see none of these points as a negative aside from the final one (I well wanted me some “The Lion And The Cobra”), but at the same time I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to get, nor what I was to expect.
Having seen photos similar to this in the tabloid press over the past few years -
I am pleased to announce that Sinead has now gone back to her trademark shaved-head look (and looks all the better for it), and that she doesn’t seem to have lost her wild side, coming out in a leather bustier, and skinny leather trousers, with her upper body covered in tattoos.
As for the show itself, Sinead’s voice is still absolutely show-stoppingly sublime. I wasn’t sure whether she would still have a voice or not to be honest, considering at her peak she had one of the most unique (and beautiful) voices in pop, but my doubts were pretty much hushed on account of the first track she performed pretty much silencing the crowd (who I imagine may have been wondering the same as me, whether she was still any good live) with Sinead sounding vocally amazing.
The gig itself was a lot of fun. Sinead O’Connor live in a church, an interesting place to see her perform considering a huge amount of her lyrics revolve around religion. Her setlist was slightly erratic and unusual, mainly pulling from her biggest success “I Do Not Want What I Haven’t Got” for her older material with “The Emperors New Clothes”, “Last Day Of Our Acquaintance”, “I Am Stretched On Your Grave” and “Nothing Compares 2U” all performed and (very) happily lapped up by the crowd. A slightly random curveball of “Universal Mother” oddity “Red Football” that was quite funny to watch performed live (the track starts off with about 2 slightly nonsensical minutes of lyrics revolving around not being a football and zoos, to finish with 30 seconds of Sinead shouting LALALALA whilst the music around her grows faster) and several new tracks from her forthcoming album due in February 2012, that appeared to see Sinead return to her pop/rock roots for the first time in about a decade.
As I mentioned the “I Do Not Want What I Haven’t Got” material was best received by the crowd – perhaps Sinead should consider touring the album as a whole, similar to what The Human League did recently with “Dare”, at some point. However her performance of “Nothing Compares 2U” was one of the odder moments of an already slightly odd evening. Obviously the track a lot of people would pay to see Sinead perform live – and probably for a huge majority of people the thing they remember her most (aside from her shaved head and the SNL incident). Sinead can’t really get away with not playing it these days, and perform it she did. Oddly though, despite Sinead performing it entirely straight-faced, it seemed to become the unintentional comedy section of her act, with heckling from the crowd, drunken women singing along really loudly deliberately out-of-tune, and Sinead making sarky asides throughout. It was interesting to see how people (and Sinead fans) react to a song that was a huge propellant, and also an albatross to her career.
Sinead also sang a very powerful acapella version of “I Am Stretched On Your Grave”, that despite being very beautiful did feel a little bit auto-pilot, I got the impression that she had performed the exact same performance many times before (and a quick google of recent Sinead set-lists confirms an acapella IASOYG is indeed a live show staple), like I say however, it was gorgeous and you could pretty much hear a pin drop throughout whenever she was singing.
Of her new material off her forthcoming album, it seemed very split into the firmly “sounds quite good” and “this is really awful” camps. One track (I think named “The Wolf Is Getting Married”) sounded great, with a huge thumping rousing chorus and layered vocals – it didn’t sound a million miles away from her early material, and another (I think called “Old Bird”) was similarly rousing and the sort of thing you imagine Sinead probably should be making at the moment.
However two of the other new tracks were pretty awful truth be told. One was a ballad style track very much in the vein of ”Nothing Compares 2U” (the backing basically sounded like a “Nothing Compares 2U” re-write) and containing some truly heinous lyrics, one of which I remember being “Granny I’m so sorry, I sold your rosary for 15p”, not your best work Sinead. The other track was a truly cringeworthy rant against celebrity (I think called “VIP”), that was basically a very badly written 7 minute Sinead monologue speaking out against celebrity culture and the aspirations of youth. If it was Sinead trying to be current, it failed miserably and was a bit embarrassing truth be told (she got heckled by the crowd towards the end of the track).
But why should we care about new Sinead O’Connor material I don’t hear you cry, you should care because as her first proper pop album in about 15 years, it has the potential to be really interesting, as I mentioned earlier, when she was great, she was REALLY great. The woman can be a genius when she wants to be -
Sadly I don’t think I got anything off my beloved “The Lion and The Cobra” (I would have loved a bit of the above “Troy”, or “Just Like U Said It Would B”), but despite my reservations about a couple of her new tracks, it really was a really fun gig. Sinead is in fine voice, and played a very entertaining set regardless of whether you knew the material or not. She was oddly quiet throughout (leading me to think she might have been quite drunk), only for her to announce to the crowd at the end that she is deliberately quiet during gigs these days, as if she speaks she says things that get her into trouble, and she finds it better to say nothing at all – which cleaned up that little mystery very nicely.
It was pretty awesome to see one of my quiet heroes in such an intimate setting. Sinead O’Connor is a definite pop music curio, and probably will remain one until the day she dies, but shes pretty awesome and incredibly talented too.
Zola Jesus (and EMA) at Heaven
So earlier this week on Wednesday (November 23rd) I went to see Zola Jesus play at Heaven in London (supported by EMA who I will come to LATER ON).
Zola Jesus previously had always been one of those acts that I wanted to like more than I actually did. Her music very much fits into the same The Knife/Fever Ray/Planningtorock/Gazelle Twin spectrum of rather introverted vocal female electronica (pretty pretentious sub-genre I just invented right), indeed she supported Fever Ray last year when she briefly toured the UK. However I always found that despite really liking a few of her tracks, a lot of it really merged into one for me, and I found some of her stuff generally really rather unpleasant to listen to. However I had been enjoying her (slightly) more accessible third album, the recently released “Conatus” enough to buy some tickets to see her live, I was pretty curious at the least – I imagine if anything she would be pretty theatrical live. That EMA was “supporting” her on the tour (more a 80/20 split duel bill to be honest) only made the gig more appealing to me – to be honest I probably would have gone to see EMA had she been playing a gig solo.
Anyway, Zola Jesus is really, really absolutely incredible live, like seriously brilliant. I am 6ft2, and she barely even reaches my elbow height-wise, which makes me imagine she probably stands sub-5ft height wise, something that is utterly baffling when you consider the sheer amount and scope of her voice that comes out of such a small body. Her voice is seriously absolutely INCREDIBLE. She is classically trained as an opera singer, something that undoubtedly helps create such strong vocals.
Quite often on her records I saw (past tense) her vocals almost being an instrument alongside the backing, not really paying attention to the lyrics with her vocal sounds all kind of merging into one. However having now seen her live, my opinion of this has been completely REVISED. I found her quite an emotional performer, really highlighting lyrics in tracks that I hadn’t even noticed before, and seriously making a bit of an emotional connection with her lyrics. She really bought her songs to life with her vocals, whilst pretty much hitting a 100% note perfect strike rate. It really was quite something to watch, particularly as I hadn’t previously been all that hugely bothered by a lot of her music previous to seeing her live. I have definitely revised my opinion on a lot of her material since.
A wonderful youtube user named “knapperfire” has posted several high-quality videos from the gig, check out this performance of “Lick The Palm Of The Burning Handshake” my personal favourite Zola track, and a pretty good demonstration of her flawless vocal (although not at all her best performance of the night) -
Zola biggest problem of the evening to be honest was the crowd she was playing to. As I said, her performance was pretty flawless. She was totally giving all that her 4ft11 body possibly could. She is obviously a rather introverted character, and performed with lots of cute self-concious little ticks with her hands, and unconscious clutching of her hair and face. The crowd were really quite dull and partisan, politely clapping after every song and barely moving throughout the gig. I never expect a gig to turn into a whirling dancefloor, but considering Zola was giving such a storming performance I expected a few more people to be a bit more into it. The crowd only really came alive when Zola played arguably her most famous (and breakout) track “Night” which was a bit of a staple of indie/electro discos last year -
She played it about fourth from last, and finally I saw a bit of movement in the audience around me – perhaps the majority of the people there weren’t very familiar with her material, but regardless I expected people to be a bit more impressed with how well she was performing. The drums were insane! Zola’s vocals were insane! How she performed and moved across the stage was perfect!
Zola came into the crowd a couple of times during her set, and wandered through the floor of the venue (similar to what the singer from Fucked Up does), and most of the people at the gig seemed to react in a very British fashion (like a stunned mullet) to a midget vocal powerhouse pacing through the crowd wailing her guts out. I found it a bit rude towards the performer at times to be honest.
Despite my reservation about the crowd, I had a really good time. Like I said, I was pretty amazed at how good Zola was live (and have now gone into full lunatic mode, listening to her non-stop and really en joing her material a whole lot more than prior to seeing her). London was treated to an encore (Zola initially ran off stage like a mouse scurrying across the kitchen after the last song of her set without saying anything, leaving the crowd a bit confused as to whether she was going to play an encore or not) which she said was a special treat for London, so hopefully she had a good time too. Perhaps as her fanbase grows the people watching her will be a bit more receptive to her dark, gloomy, gothy, industrial charms.
I have to mention the support act and Zola’s labelmate also, EMA -
More of a second billing than a support act, EMA could probably play a London solo gig in her own right had she got a little more material to play. Her album “Past Life Martyred Saints” is one of my favourites of the year, and like Zola she seriously gave a really good performance (I am not being a biased fanboy honest, she was really quite excellent).
To be honest I think EMA was a bit pissed off about having to share the bill, as she was certainly treating her slot like her own headline gig, and was a pretty confident performer.
Again the crowd really pissed me off, although I imagine many hadn’t heard EMA’s material. However her performance of her track “The Grey Ship” was seriously INCREDIBLE. One of the best live performances I have seen all year. “The Grey Ship” is an awesome epic dark 7 minute long track about EMA’s Nordic ancestry, one of my biggest max tracks of the year and one that I think is probably gonna ride high on quite a lot of year end best-of lists -
About half way through the track, the song changes somewhat, and basically sounds a bit like a giant vacuum in the galaxy is sucking the life out of the world in a giant whirlpool of destruction. Its a pretty amazing moment. Basically the sound of the apocalypse, you gotta love it. Anyway I was a bit dubious as to how it was going to translate live, but I was really looking forward to seeing EMA play it. Her live performance of it was perfectly pitched. Basically when the whirlpool of destruction section of the song started, the bass was cranked up to about 700, making the whole venue literally shake – I’m talking almost teeth chattering shake, like when you go to a proper drum and bass night. It was freaking awesome, and bought the track to life ridiculously so – adding a chorus of guitars and a dramatic violin burst out by the keyboard player it was a bit of a special moment. The crowd barely applauded.
What was wrong with the crowd at this venue I DO NOT KNOW, the performance was worthy of an X Factor style ludicrous standing-ovation, and yet EMA barely got more than a few polite claps. The joys of being a relatively unknown musician I guess.
The rest of EMA’s set was good, but not as mind-blowing as “The Grey Ship”. It did feel a bit self-concious with how she presented herself on stage a few times, and at one point she smashed a guitar on stage (again to complete nonchalance from the dreary audience) but immediately had another guitar waiting in the wings for her to play immediately on her next track, which felt less spontaneous and more contrived to be honest.
EMA seemed to be having a good time though, and appeared excited to be playing London, even saying it was her “best gig ever” when she finished. It that is her best gig ever (and performance wise she was excellent) I dread to think what other audiences she has performed to were like.
So basically, great gig (really great gig, I was so impressed with how well both acts performed), utterly dreadful audience.
I am so into Zola right now its not even funny. I said in one of the opening paragraphs I used to find some her material a bit unlistenable – definitely not the case anymore. I well suggest people check her out live if she is playing in your yard at any point soon, and definitely check out her new album “Conatus” if you want the easiest route into her sound – her other two albums can be a little difficult to penetrate at first. “Vessel” and “Night are probably her two most famous tracks (“Vessel” having a pretty beautiful video below) -
But as I mentioned before “Lick The Palm Of The Burning Handshake” is my Zola track of choice, despite its vaguely ridiculous title. Utterly sublime.
Tori Amos live : ROYAL ALBERT HALL
So I love Tori Amos. Always have done, probably always will do. My love for her has been a little buried for her over the last few years I must confess, mainly due to several slightly bloated and uninspiring (not to say bad) albums (a view seemingly almost universally shared by her fanbase) – she has drifted a long way from her absolute creative (and incidentally commercial) peak of her first four albums “Little Earthquakes”, “Under The Pink”, “Boys For Pele” and the staggeringly amazing (and also probably her most cohesive work in my opinion) “From The Choirgirl Hotel”.
Anyway, recently I started dipping my toe back into the world of Tori Amos for the first time in years with the release of her new album “Night Of Hunters”, hailed by many as an approach to a return to form, or at least something a little more interesting and unexpected from Tori than her previous three albums (although “American Doll Posse” had a good if slightly direction-less stab at a new direction I must admit).
Following a few listens “Night Of Hunters” isn’t quite for me. Its an initially pretty impenetrable listen, based on re-written classical pieces with some rather pious and (intentionally) near emotionless vocals from Tori (her 12 year-old daughter who also features on the album kind of steals the show vocal-wise on the album, with an unexpected snarling husky voice). Whilst the album definitely has merit – album opener “Shattering Sea” is beautiful for example, as is the perky “Jobs Coffin” and the epic “Star Whisperer” – its not quite what I want from a Tori Amos album at this point in my life. It did however get me back listening to some prime Tori from the years gone by…the sort of stuff I used to absolutely saturate myself with (alongside Bjork) as an early teen
So thank you “Night Of Hunters” for directing me back to albums I used to love so much (and still do), it really was wonderful discovering them again (particularly her little discussed (fanbase aside) fifth album “To Venus And Back”, which is a delight).
My love for Tori reconfirmed, I decided to see whether she was touring at any point soon, seeing as despite being a HUGE FAN in my younger years, and still loving her today I have somehow never managed to see Tori Amos live. A quick google confirmed she was indeed playing live in London very soon…in about 3 days time in fact…in the Royal Albert Hall…and there were still tickets…and good seats still remaining! Needless to say I snapped a ticket up despite not knowing anybody that would be even vaguely interested in going, a date with myself and Tori Amos (in the Royal Albert Hall!) would be pretty awesome I decided.
One of the things that makes Tori Amos such a unique, and interesting live performer is that her setlists are never pre-determined. She usually makes them up on the day of the gig and never reveals them before she plays…no show is ever the same. She has such a huge overwhelming wealth of material to choose from her shows frequently feature tracks from all over her back catalogue…it really is not rare for her to play a show that features almost as many obscure tracks, fan faves and b-sides than it does singles proper or new material from the album the tour is promoting. The “Night Of Hunters” tour is obviously no different to any of her previous in terms of setlist, absoloutely ANYTHING can show up on the night, and judging by her previous shows on the tour so far – http://www.toriamos.com/tours/2011.html this tour is no different – quite a lot of rare tracks and fan faves have popped up all over the shop.
There are certain tracks that seem to be favourited by Tori for her tours however, and for the “Night Of Hunters” tour it seemed pretty likely that she was going to play “Shattering Sea”, “Nautical Twilight” and “Fearlessness” at the least from the “Night Of Hunters” album, and the likes of “Winter”, “Silent All These Years”, “Siren”, “Big Wheel”, “Mr Zebra”, “Cruel”, “Leather”, “Precious Things”, “Suede” and my absolute favourite “Spark” from her back catalogue, as these tracks seemed to be the most frequently occurring on her setlists, even if they weren’t all played every single night. So I had a good idea of what to go in expecting (and to be honest I was pretty freaking excited about the whole thing)
I have never seen a gig in the Royal Albert Hall before, and I am so pleased that Tori Amos was my first. What a special venue, what a special place to see somebody that had such a huge influence on my early life play live for the first time!
Tori absolutely did not disappoint. She really was amazing amazing live. Even nearing 50, she was vocally on point throughout, still sounding as vocally strong as she did on “Little Earthquakes” – female singers seem to adopt ”crow vocals” (Madonna) as they age, or just GIVE UP singing live altogether (Janet Jackson), but Tori still had it, all entirely.
Her show was backed by a string quartet that had played on the “Night Of Hunters” album, and they were just as much a part of the show as Tori adding drama and energy to the stage, and contributing to Tori’s own material, not just the “Night Of Hunters” tracks. They frequently used their instruments as percussion which was an inspired touch.
Tori hasn’t played the Royal Albert Hall since 1998, and with her being a self-confessed Anglophile I had an inkling that it was going to be a pretty special show. She seemed genuinely thrilled to be there, and seemed to really enjoy surprising (and delighting) the crowd that were trying to second-guess her setlist, and then thriving off their rapturous applause when she played a song that pleased them.
The show was a little “Night Of Hunters” album heavy for me, with Tori playing 5 or 6 tracks off that album (more than most other shows), but going to a tour supporting the album in one of the biggest music sales markets, to be honest : WHAT DID I EXPECT. The full length (and largely instrumental) “Star Whisperer” from the album was performed, and was absolutely sublime.
However the show was also very “Little Earthquakes” and “Boys For Pele” heavy (a good thing in my book), the full setlist being -
Shattering Sea (Night Of Hunters)
Scarborough Fair (Cover)
Suede with Improv (To Venus And Back)
Velvet Revolution (B-Side)
Nautical Twilight (Night Of Hunters)
Leather (Little Earthquakes)
Beauty Queen – Horses (Boys For Pele)
Marianne (Boys For Pele)
Mr. Zebra (Boys For Pele)
Fearlessness (Night Of Hunters)
Cloud On My Tongue (Under The Pink)
Star Whisperer (Night Of Hunters)
Silent All These Years (Little Earthquakes)
Bells For Her (Under The Pink)
Way Down (Boys For Pele)
Hey Jupiter (Boys For Pele)
Your Ghost (Night Of Hunters)
Precious Things (Little Earthquakes)
Cruel (From The Choirgirl Hotel)
ENCORE #1
A Multitude Of Shades (String quartet own composition)
Winter (Little Earthquakes)
ENCORE #2
Smells Like Teen Spirit (Cover)
Siren (OST “Great Expectations”)
Big Wheel (American Doll Posse)
The strengths of the show were definitely the tracks that had been worked especially for the tour alongside the string quartet. “Precious Things”, “Leather” and “Cruel” – none favourites of mine from their respective albums – all really came to life with dramatic light-shows, exciting new string arrangements and Tori writhering around on stage (particularly during “Cruel” which Tori started channelling Blonde Ambition Madonna, getting all sexy on both pianos). They were all really wonderful.
My personal highlights were the set-list surprises though. Not quite huge surprises as all are staples of her live sets, but none performed frequent enough for me to realistically expect I would get them at the Royal Albert Hall show. The beautiful “Boys For Pele” album opener (and one of my all time favourite Tori tracks) “Beauty Queen/Horses” was one of the first tracks to absolutely raise the roof, and probably got one of the best reactions of the whole night. Just Tori and a piano and the whole place in the palm of her hand -
“Hey Jupiter”, another “Boys For Pele” track also appeared towards the end of the show, and was absolutely beautiful (to the point that I noticed the bouncer in our section had taken his eye off us and was watching Tori perform during the track). Pretty much spinechilling, and a bit of an unexpected moment. “Hey Jupiter” is a huge personal favourite, but I didn’t expect her to play “Beauty Queen/Horses” and “Hey Jupiter” in the same show.
and finally as her near penultimate track, she played her cover of “Smells Like Teen Spirit”. Nothing new in a Tori Amos live show, but following such a crowd-pleasing tracklist for the gig, to throw this in right at the end had the whole crowd going mental, and again had the entire hall completely transfixed. It was completely unexpected by myself, to the point where I involuntarily went “oh my gosh” under my breath when she dropped it. It really was a very special show, with a near-dream tracklist for somebody like myself who is not quite a Tori-loon (a Toriphile is how they are known) but a big Tori fan, particularly having never seen her live before.
I must mention the Toriphiles, I had been warned previously about the mad rush to the front of the stage of a thousand gays crying their eyes out to a “1000 Oceans” encore, but never really believed it was true, certainly not in the partisan Britain – how wrong I was! As soon as Tori finished “Cruel” (the last track in her main set), almost the entire floor of the bottom section (the stalls?) of the Royal Albert Hall literally ran and pushed to the front when she did her last song before the encore and basically stood in a human pyramid at the front of the stage all reaching out to her and basically all WEEPING in unison…it was kind of crazy, but pretty amazing that people get so loony about her. I had never seen anything like it, certainly not at a gig for an act like Tori Amos (particularly as this show was a borderline classical affair). It was kind of wonderful to watch, particularly as Tori then proceeded to whack out “Winter” – one of her most famous tracks – and a thousand loons in the front row started openly weeping and bawling their eyes out.
It really was a wonderful evening, and it really made me feel I had achieved something I probably should have achieved many years ago (but it all came good in the end seeing such an amazing gig, in such an amazing venue). My ONLY gripe (there is always a gripe), is that she didn’t perform one of my absolute favourites, and a track she has been performing regularly on this tour “Spark”.
“Spark” is a really special track, an absolute all-out anthem written about her miscarriage, and probably the biggest balls blazing pop song in her entire canon. Had she perfomed it as her first encore tonight I think her crazy fans would have spontaneously combusted, and its a shame that she didn’t, as it doesn’t seem to be as big a live staple as some of her other tracks “Precious Things” for example, so I was excited to see it on rotation on this tour. But hey, maybe she will perform it next time…and there definitely will be a next time for me…I’m tempted to get a ticket for her next gig tomorrow night already even though it would lead me to financial ruin. I am definitely seeing her whenever she next tours from now until she stops, truly a live force in a league of her own.
Thanks Tori, for an awesome date with myself. Please play this live for me next time kthanksbye -
Jack Littman – Sinking Ship VIDEO
Jack Littman HOT CHEST FLASH alert -
So “Sinking Ship” by Jack Littman has gone on to become not only one of my favourite tracks of the year so far, but probably of the last few years or so, I think its a really amazingly special track and I try to foist it on people whenever, and wherever I go. Its been picked up on by a few blogs, and I really hope it has made a few waves for him.
A commenter on my previous post on the track named LISA informed me that a video has now been made for the song, something that surprised me somewhat as I honestly never expected the song to get to the video stage. For the obvious budget restraints I think they have done a really nice job. I really like the flashes of light (and that it was filmed in the pitch black dark), and the straight on shots of Jack himself staring directly into the camera rather intensively, and the usage of red and green light in general. I do think its a bit fussy, and probably could have done without the traffic cones, bubbles and rope, and probably would have had the job done using light alone, but for a debut video, on a budget for an AMAZING song I think its a fine effort -
I really hope the track grows more now there is a video out. It would work just as well played REALLY LOUD in a club as it would listening at home as a mellow track – an honour that not many songs can honestly say they can warrant – the only other song I can think of that works in both contexts off the top of my head is the Jamie XX remix of “You Got The Love” by Florence and The Machine. I’m pleased that Jack Littman seems to be exploring the more interesting side of his work and image too, I was a bit worried he was going to play at being a boring singer-songwriter.
You can still download “Sinking Ship” and the rest of the Jack Littman mixtape at http://jacklittman.bandcamp.com/track/sinking-ship do so, its good!
The Weeknd – Glass Table Girls
LOVING this unofficial video to accompany The Weeknd’s track “Glass Table Girls” that has appeared online. It uses footage from Robocop and some clever jittery-editing to create a pretty perfect accompanying video for the track. “Glass Table Girls” isn’t one of my favourites off the The Weeknd debut mixtape/album thing, but this clip elevates it in my opinion. My track of choice is the opening song “High For This” which is one of the best sex/drugs tracks I have heard in ages, that song was made for a red light.
Anyway, download the”House Of Balloons” album for free from the-weeknd.com, if you haven’t heard of The Weeknd already WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN. Potentially one of the most hyped albums I have ever experienced online (and it more than lives up to it). Its a must if you like R Kelly at his sleaziest (and quite frankly WHO DOESN’T). The Weeknd is 20 year old Abel Tesfaye from Toronto. I wish I could be so young and produce something so awesome -
Watch this video -
Listen to this song (ideally whilst knobbing somebody) -
Eurovision 2011 : WHO WAS THE HOTTEST MESS
So Eurovision has been and gone for another year. Personal favourite Eric Saade with “Popular” restored honour and glory to the spiritual homeland of Eurovision, SWEDEN, gaining them their highest finish (3rd) for about a decade. Blue finished with a middling (disappointing) position for the UK, and Lena for Germany astonished all with a HOT AND SEXY new look, and a slick and slinky performance of her track “Taken By A Stranger”.
However Eurovision is never just about the results, the winner, or where your home country finishes. It is just about the HOT MESS CAR CRASH factor as anything else, and same as any other year, Eurovision 2011 had it in spades.
Hot mess has become the accepted lingo for WALKING TRAINWRECK, and there were several on display this year IN MY OPINION :
ARMENIA -
Come on this was APPALLING. Vox all over the place, I think they were aiming to make it an EVENT ENTRY but instead it just looked cheap and tacky. By the end of the track comes around Emmy seems to just GIVE UP and starts panting “boom boom chaka chaka” randomly, don’t even get me started on the boxing ring created out of toilet roll, WHAT A SHAMBLES -
BELGIUM -
Remember The Unconventionals, the horrendously awful mixed sex vocal harmony group from the UK X Factor a few years ago? No, then you are lucky. This was like them but WORSE. Again, this was appalling, it was like a bunch of school teachers getting up and embarrassing themselves in assembly. I had to watch through my hands when a middle aged white Belgian started beatboxing across the stage. So uncool it HURTS -
FRANCE -
Bookies favourite, amazing background, but what we got was a jacket potato in a horrific wig sweating MASSIVELY and scaring children across the land. My party were positively terrified by him, his split ends and his SWEATY UPPER LIP. -
SLOVAKIA -
The only thing on this stage that wasn’t FLAT was their mammory glands. I swear one of the Twiins had her mic turned off, and the other just sang MASSIVELY OUT OF TUNE through the whole song -
POLAND -
SHE DIDN’T SING THE CHORUS TO HER OWN SONG. How are we supposed to find a song memorable if the singer won’t even sing the chorus, she was too busy concentrating on some rather questionably arm-choreography -
CROATIA -
A singer that looked far more trannytastic than Dana International herself, a vocal that would make angels cry, amazing pronunciation of the word “celebrate” (“SAL-EEE-BRAYTE”) , costume changes that seemed to take far longer than they should, and a tinny dance beat. Croatia had obviously been taking tips from the hot mess queen Angelica Agurbash (Belarus 2005, youtube her its worth it honestly) -
BELARUS -
Having previously mentioned this entry on this very blog RIGHT HERE I was really excited about seeing this entry. This should have been a fabulous slice of Soviet-schlager, but instead we got a deep booming vocal that would make Caroline Wyatt blush, VERY LITTLE on-stage movement, and a LONG SHOT of the crowd at the pivotal key-change FIST PUMPING final chorus. Less hot mess, more SNORE BORE -
HUNGARY -
I LOVE Kati Wolf. Unexpectedly bringing back power pop for the Eurovision masses. This was a TOP TUNE, sung by an unlikely heroine. Her vocals were shaky, she looked a state, her eyes were full almost entirely with FEAR, yet she brought great joy into the hearts of homosexuals Europe-wide. Living embodiment of the phrase HOT MESS herself, she doesn’t even have to try, she just IS -
STELLA MWANGI POST SEMI FINAL ONE RESULTS -
Stella represented Norway, with the lovely SWAHILI based track “Haba Haba” which pre-contest was one of the favourites. Something awful happened though, and she somehow failed to qualify (despite being one of the best in her semi-final) and THIS was her wonderful reaction to the news -
however despite all of these truly wonderful candidates (performance wise Armenia have to claim it as the HOTTEST MESS for me personally), all of this was overshadowed by one young lady, and the winner of my HOTTEST EUROVISION 2011 MESS AWARD goes to…. -
SAFURA -
So Safura, last years Azerbeijani entrant read out the Azerbeijan votes dressed in an utterly RIDICULOUS outfit, that was far more drag than HOT BABE, she looked like a Christmas tree. She sang (entirely unprompted) a snippet from her last years (long forgotten) fifth-plac finisher “Drip Drop” and then announced the votes like a TOTAL SLUT. Certainly was a highlight for me. Wouldn’t be surprised to see her back NEXT YEAR to go for gold. She certainly made the voting that little bit more interesting -
GOD BLESS HER
America’s Next Top Model ALL-STAR CYCLE
POST UPDATED WITH CONFIRMED CAST AT BOTTOM
So Tyra Banks has done something truly wonderful. Not only has she finally given us a decent Cycle of America’s Next Top Model for the first time in what feels like YEARS with the current one Cycle 16, but an All-Stars Cycle has been announced for Autumn (Fall if you are American), in no doubt a move to try and boost the shows flagging ratings.
But ratings schmatingz, this has potential to be AMAZING and the gayest TV show since Dynasty (or at least Sunset Beach), lets hope Tyra doesn’t SCREW IT UP as normal. If she brings back the dead on arrival burns victim THALIA from Cycle 12 (nicknamed Burn-a-Dette by da fanz) I will be very upset. It has to be a pure trash cycle and forget about the fashion. An All Star cycle should be about the lulz, not Vogue Italia, half the girls will be ancient these days anyway.
According to ANTM fans, the first character to be reasonably confirmed is Sheena the hoochie Asian from cycle 11, who has been dropping heavy facebook hints about returning, who isn’t exactly top of my wishlist, but I guess it could be worse. My own personal sources here in London tell me that Melrose (Cycle 7) has been approached, but whether she will actually do it I don’t know.
QUEEN bi-racial butterfly JADE COLE (cycle 6) is the one that everybody wants OBVIOUSLY, and she hasn’t denied it when a fan asked her on twitter, Tyra would be a bit of a fool to not include her, I mean it pretty much is irrelevant who else she casts as long is Jade is included. See her all-time classic Covergirl commercial for just one reason why she is such a legend, “beautiful, fabulous” -
My personal ideal cast would be something like this -
ROBYN (cycle 1) – Crazy Jesus-loving hypocritical church-hat modelling Robyn, YES PLEASE. Her prayer group that was blatantly aimed at sole lesbian Ebony was outrageous/amazing :
CASSANDRA (Cycle 5) – Self-confessed SOCIOPATH and took on Tyra herself by refusing to cut her hair, she had the vacant look of a killer in her eyes :
LISA (Cycle 5) – “Alcoholic bitch”, the original Jade Cole, human trainwreck, famous for pissing in a nappy (diaper) and talking to trees when drunk. She better be in the house :
JADE (Cycle 6) – Look, if you do not know Jade, then you have not lived as far as I’m concerned, you probably shouldn’t be reading this post :
MONIQUE (Cycle 7) – Whilst Lisa and Jade were funny bitches, this girl was plain NASTY. She only lasted a few weeks, but managed to cause more upsets than most girls do in an entire cycle. Highlights included pretending to piss on her bed, and purposely staying on the phone for about TWELEVE HOURS :
MELROSE (Cycle 7) – Monique’s arch-enemy, and all round mis-understood (slightly deranged) sweetheart, Melrose just wanted the crown TOO MUCH :
KATHLEEN (Cycle 8 ) – Only managed one round of ANTM, but bought more lulz than the rest of the cycle added together. This youtube video illustrates why Kathleen was so great, and pretty much is the best 2 minutes 36 seconds you can spend in your life :
“Like I’m DESTROYING THE FUR?!” *crazy eyes* I really do LOVE.HER.
HEATHER (Cycle 9) – One of the all-time biggest ANTM fan-faves. Slightly autistic Heather could not take anything approaching a bad photo, and had one of the best personalities ever seen on the show. Adorable :
DOMINIQUE (Cycle 10) – Dominique was a bit like the craziness of Jade mixed with the desperation of Melrose. Quite how she managed to stay SO FAR into her cycle, toppling girls like the gorgeous Katarzyna by doing so I DO NOT KNOW. That she looked like a potato in drag made it all the more amusing to watch -
ALLISON (Cycle 12) – So Cycle 12 had a pretty poor cast of girls model-wise, but drama-wise it was one of the BEST CYCLES. Allison mainly avoided it, but Queen creepy-chan probably rivals Heather in terms of fan-loving, and her intelligent-akward-girl-done-good story was one of ANTM’s best journeys. She also delivered one of the best photos in ANTM history, her bird shot below :
CELIA (Cycle 12) – Crazy OLD Celia. She bought desperation to a whole new level. Her showdown with Tyra Banks in her Celia VS Tahlia episode is still probably my favourite ANTM episode of all time, and despite her quirks she did seem quite a sweet person -
SANDRA (Cycle 12) and ANGELEA (Cycle 14) – Independently only Angelea would feature here. Sandra was an ANTM bitch, but a purely NASTY one in the vein of Monique (above). Angelea was a fabulous retard in the vein of Jade. However together in the casting episode they made TV gold with the best bitchfight ANTM has ever been blessed with -
“Bitch you got some ugly ass corns” – GET THEM IN THE HOUSE TOGETHER PRONTO.
MONIQUE (Cycle 16) – and finally to my last pick, spoilt brat Monique from the most recent cycle, Cycle 16. The only ANTM contestent I’ve seen roll her eyes at members of the public during a challenge, and then again at the Tyrant herself during panel. PRICELESS :
Robyn Manning (Cycle 1)
Cassandra Whitehead (Cycle 5)
Lisa D’amanto (Cycle 5)
Jade Cole (Cycle 6)
Monique Calhoun (Cycle 7)
Melrose Bickerstaff (Cycle 7)
Kathleen DuJour (Cycle 8 )
Heather Kuzmich (Cycle 9)
Dominique Reighard (Cycle 10)
Sandra Nyanchoka (Cycle 12)
Celia Ammerman (Cycle 12)
Allison Harvard (Cycle 12)
Angelea Preston (Cycle 14)
Monique Weingart (Cycle 16)
Seriously throw all those bitches and crazies in a house together and watch the magic happen. I mean Sandra vs Angelea ALONE would make an amazing reality tv show, never mind throwing Melrose and Monique back together to bicker over who gets to use the phone, Lisa drinking herself into oblivion and talking to trees in the garden, and Jade ambling around being a beautiful fabulous undiscovered biracial butterfly over the top of them all.
Do it Tyra, and bring back ultimate trainwreck judge JANICE DICKINSON too.
Realistically however, this is all just a pipe dream. The mix of the girls above would create the most insane/explosive TV show in TV history (probably), but I doubt it would ever be allowed due to MENTAL HEALTH issues, and also the entire world would probably implode with that gaggle in a house together.
I think we have to bank on Tocarra (Cycle 3) -
being included and crowned the winner, seeing as Tyra seems to practically WORSHIP the ground she walks on these days (even going as far as to admit eliminating her was a mistake in Cycle 16). Lest us forget that Tocarra is BIG, BLACK, BEAUTIFUL and a SUCCESS outside of the Top Model arena, surely something that will tickle all of Tyra’s pickles at the same time.
I think realistically the people Tyra is likely to cast include -
APRIL (Cycle 2)
TOCARRA (Cycle 3)
JOANIE (Cycle 6)
BIANCA (Cycle 9)
LAUREN (Cycle 10)
DOMINIQUE (Cycle 10)
ISIS (Cycle 11)
SHEENA (Cycle 11)
and ANGELEA (Cycle 14)
as she seems to love those bitches and used them on her talk show ALL THE TIME, and whilst its not quite my personal list of ANTM legends, it could be a lot worse. Some fans are rabbiting on about some bitch that looks like bambi called RACHEL from Cycle 13 being cast for this and I was a bit like WHO. I hope that is not true.
Anyway, this is all set to debut later this year, and before then we have new cycles of Britain, New Zealand and the crown jewel of all Top Model shows, the truly wonderful AUSTRALIA’s Next Top Model to look forward to.
BRING IT ON!
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE
And so the cast has been revealed! The returning girls are confirmed to be…
Shannon Stewart C1
Britanny Brower C4
Lisa D’Amato C5
Bianca Golden C9
Sheena Sakai C11
Laura Kirkpatrick C13
Kayla Ferrell C14
Alexandria Everrett C16
Woah! Considering what the cast COULD have been like, that is a pretty amazing line up! Obviously it is missing Jade, but the inclusion of the likes of Alexandria, Angelea, Camille, Dominique, Bianca and most importantly LISA just about makes up for it – that lot together in a house is going to be pretty explosive. I like that a few fan favourites made the cut too (Laura and ALLISON mainly), there are a couple of girls that will probably provide a bit of comedy relief in a non-bitchy sense (Brittany, Bre and Sheena I am looking at you), and a few inevitable fillers also (Shannon who Tyra has always adored, and Kayla who I cannot stand, whiny lesbian NOT A MODEL).
But altogether, props to Tyra, that is a really strong cast from a TV entertainment perspective. Who will win WHO CARES quite frankly, it should be Allison by all rights to give Top Model fans closure from when Teyona stole the crown from her grasp, but I imagine it will be Shannon, Alexandria, Bre or Kayla depending on the criteria for the winner is.
Charli XCX – STAY AWAY
NEW ELECTRO-POP BINT ALERT
So Charli XCX has (very) quietly been shuffling around the corners of the internet for the last couple of years now, without making any real major waves, but she has recently been signed properly and is gearing up to release her first single proper “Stay Away”
She is one of those bitches that is going to get a slow burn campaign, that 6 months down the line gays internet-wide are all going to be looning over, only to be bitterly disappointed when she flops into the charts at #25 (she is managed by LITTLE BOOTS original management team I believe, which just about says it all.)
Anyway, “Stay Away” I have to say I really really like, gothic sounding industrial electro-pop – vocally she is very Marina Diamandis but thankfully without the Mika-esque backing or shrill squealing. Really good track, its good I like it top marks -
It also has a remix from the creepy fucks at Salem which is pretty good, and has an awesome video -
Let us not forget Salem and their visual side are a BIG PERSONAL FAVOURITE OF MINE
Her image is not hitting it for me however, more VV Brown than GaGa -
.jpg "Charli XCX")
Trying that LITTLE BIT TOO HARD, sort it out Charli!
GAY MONARCHS of the UNITED KINGDOM
So over here in the UK, everybody has gone bat-shit crazy over William and Kate Middleton getting married. I kind of missed the Royal wedding myself I’m actually quite ashamed to admit, I was in bed until 4pm with a STINKING hangover. Kind of regret that now.
Anyway this is just a tenuous link to what I actually am going to blather about in this post, the dark side of the British Royals, the Kings and Queens that were (alleged to be) HOMOSEXUAL.
There are generally seven British monarchs that are believed by (at least some) credible historians to be gay (one of which is definite), but which is your favourite, all are interesting in their own way (except perhaps fat-potato-faced ANNE) :
King William Rufus (1087 – 1110)
Son of William the Conqueror, and openly gay. William Rufus was not a popular king. He is described as red-haired, arrogant, intemperate and coarse. Openly gay and always in need of money, he quarrelled with the church about land, taxes and his dissolute lifestyle.
He was, however, an excellent soldier and very successfully consolidated his father’s military successes in England. He died when a “stray” arrow struck him on the head, lots of evidence seems to point at his brother HENRY being responsible for this, as he showed no remorse at his death, and went straight to be crowned as King Henry I in London without seeing William buried.
Richard The Lionheart (1189-1199)
People are divided as to whether he was or not, but he was known for being a bit BUFF, and great warrior. He fought lots of crusades abroad and ruled not only in England, but Ireland, Cyprus and parts of France also. His homosexuality rumours stem from him spending the night in bed with the King of France (some believe it to be a sign of peace between the two countries, some believe it to be a night of HOT RIMMING ACTION), and there are other stories that he confessed to his church “the sin of sodomy” in just his underwear, and took 5 years to sleep with his wife, and only did so as a penance for his homosexuality. His wife was from a forced arranged marriage. Lionheart was rumoured to have had relationships with other women, but many believe this was just for show, as stories of his homosexuality are RIFE. He probably was gay, just an AGRESSIVE TOP kinda gay.
EDWARD II (1307-27)
One of the higher profile gay monarchs, so much so there was a 1991 film based on his little gay life, and he popped up in “Braveheart” as a flamboyantly gay character. By all accounts was QUITE HOT, but was not popular with his people (or his wife). There is lots about Edward II online about his gay affairs (including some QUITE ODD slash fiction) so feel free to google away. But he basically pissed off the whole of his country by dating this guy called Piers Gaveston, the 1st Earl of Cornwall -
Gaveston had a very strong influence on him, and this made him very unpopular. Gaveston was eventually beheaded for being a homosexual (something that was VERY ILLEGAL back in those dark times). The King then went on to have another affair with Hugh Despenser -
who was eventually killed by having his genitals removed and his eyes burnt out with FIRE. Edward himself was eventually murdered by his wifes lover by having a RED HOT poker slipped up his bottom probably without lube.
Richard II (1377-1400)
Ascending to the throne at just 10 years old, Richard II sounds a bit, well, poofy. He also relished the arts, befriended Chaucer and collected fine objects. He completely flinched at warmaking and often sympathised with the victims of his foreign crusades, and was so unpopular with his people he was pelted with garbage at a UK parade.
He was described as not very kingly. He had Westminster Abbey beautified with a new ceiling and paid inordinate attention to his clothes. He not only used and probably waved a hanky, he invented the thing, something that he is probably most famous for. Towards the end of his reign he went a little bit mad, and slaughtered many of his opponents, eventually dying of starvation in captivity.
Mary I (1553 – 1558)
There are SOME RUMBLINGS that Mary might have been a lesbian, or at least a REPRESSED lesbian which might go some way to explain her bloody reign of terror, but I must admit I am unconvinced personally, she seemed pretty devoted to Philip her husband. If anybody knows different please feel free to share the knowledge.
James I (1603 – 1625)
Physically weak, and well known to be quite cowardly, James I is one of the better known gay monarchs – I remember it being vaguely alluded to when I was studying at school it was so obvious. He was first rumoured to have fallen in love with his own cousin Esme Stuart -
at the age of 13, and he late made him the Duke of Lennox. There is quite a lot about him online, so again feel free to GOOGLE AWAY, I do like this choice quote on him -
James’s sexual orientation was so widely known that Sir Walter Raleigh joked about it in public saying “King Elizabeth” had been succeeded by “Queen James.”
James was rumoured to be fond of young, and pretty boys. He had many lovers including Robert Carr, a poor Scotsman that he made the Earl of Somerset -
02.jpg "Robert Carr gay")
and George Villiars, who was made the Duke of Buckingham -
he was said to lavish gifts upon his lovers, something that disgusted his court, not only because of the money he was wasting, but also because James appeared old, bloated, lecherous and often quite literally DROOLING over his young male objects of his affection.
Anne (1702 – 1714)
Bit of a boring one, despite having a huge amount of miscarriages, she was rumoured to partake in some lady-loving with Sarah Churchill, Duchess of Marlborough, who was her “lady of the bedchamber.” Which was apparently an actual job, and not just some winking euphemism.
And for now, at least, that is it, although I am sure along the line there have been others, this lot have just been a bit louder about it. May I also add that everything here is ALLEGEDLY, and if anybody wants any pictures taken down just email me.
John James Audubon – Happy BIRDDAY
I have John James Audubon’s pictures all over my bedroom at home, I bought a diary in a charity shop once full of good quality reproductions of his bird drawings, so I cut it up and stuck them all over my wall. It looks beautiful. Today is John James Audubon’s birthday. He is famous for documenting the birds of North America in amazing and beautiful detail for the very first time. Here are a few of my favourite of his pictures, I really love his work. I tried to copy one of his owl pictures before, you would be amazed at how quickly boring drawing individual feathers becomes, gotta give the man some respect -
and my personal favourite, which I just think is really ethereal and beautiful, his Great Egret painting -
I AM A WAITRESS, I LIKE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT STUFF TO ME
So this week finally sees the UK release of the track “Dirty Talk” by American singer Wynter Gordon. GOD BLESS HER. She has been ambling around the pop music landscape for the past 2 or 3 years to the interest of absolutely nobody, it was starting to become reasonably amusing to watch. I was beginning to believe that she could well be the ultimate pop music desperado, but she mysteriously (finally) managed to score herself a massive hit (in Australia) where the track “Dirty Talk” hit number one for several weeks.
I don’t actually know how it randomly became so big in Australia, she must have been thrilled – success at last! Personally, I don’t love, but I don’t mind the song myself, I’m a bit surprised that it became so big down under – I think perhaps the very popular Laidback Luke remix might have had something to do with it. The opening lyric of the track “I am a waitress, I like it when you do that stuff to me” confuses me slightly.
Success has been a long time coming for poor old Wynter. Her discography reads like a catalogue of cancelled singles and dance collaborations that never took off the ground. Her wikipedia says she is 25, but I doubt that highly, she has to be 35 at the absolute youngest, Sinitta looks more youthful than she does, she has rather BAGGY EYES (see the “interesting” single artwork for “Dirty Talk” for evidence of this) -
I am however secretly very pleased she has finally found some success somewhere, who remembers when literally tens of gays were declaring her track Surveillance as THE NEW UMBRELLA about 58 years ago -
In reality it was more WE BREAK THE DAWN. It didn’t take off.
Back to “Dirty Talk”, the track has two videos, one of which seems to be styled in the way of a cheap romantic fiction novel for brain-dead secretaries, and the other “proper” video that seems to have been styled by somebody with NO EYES.
The “proper video” -
The (ridiculous) Mills and Boon video -
The Mills and Boon video is some of the most sorry-assed shit I have ever seen in my life, and unsurprisingly it has been mysteriously taken off youtube wherever possible (although the video above must have slipped through Wynter’s dirty net).
Despite all this, I do secretly want Wynter to experience UK $ucce$$ with this track as I find her far too generally ropey and desperate to not have in my life, and as I write this post “Dirty Talk” is climbing the UK itunes chart (it was number 50 last time I looked). So help out an ancient relic claw her way to the top of the charts and spend £0.69 on Wynter here, it will make an old dog very happy -
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dirty-Talk/dp/B004WYUJOW/ref=sr_shvl_album_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1303733725&sr=301-2
and hey who knows, if “Dirty Talk” does manage to become a hit, she might even follow it up over here with a re-release of one of my biggest guilty pleasures from the past few years, the track she did with the Freemason’s “Believer” -
A rather belated MOMENT 4 LIFE
So sometimes a song needs a single release for you to really appreciate it. Sometimes songs do not really pop properly until they get full video treatment and radio play, one of those tracks for me is “Moment 4 Life” by Nicki Minaj ft Drake -
Over in the UK at the moment we are having a mini-heatwave. It is the middle of April and the sun is out and everybody is having a BBQ. I currently have “Moment 4 Life” ON REPEAT as it sounds so great in the sun. The track was released as a single in the UK back in February 2011, and has been out in the public domain for ages since the album “Pink Friday” was released, so to say it has taken a while to grown on me is saying something.
I didn’t really notice it on the album before it was made a single – it was completely elevated by being granted single status in my opinion. Its a shame her label are now pushing the dire The Big Pink sampling track “Girls Fall Like Dominos” over here now instead of trying to squeeze a little bit more out of “Moment 4 Life”.
The “Pink Friday” album has been a weird one for me. I think most people were expecting a genre-revolutionising piece of work from Nicki upon release, and instead got an odd mix of not-as-mental-as-expected-Roman-Nicki and a-lot-more-than-expected-singy/sensitive-Nicki, which for somebody with such a strong image was quite the shock. At times it felt a bit like Nicki Minaj’s insane, loud, brash, personality and image had been taken out of the album.
The track “Romans Revenge” which saw her alter-ego “Roman” take on Eminem’s alter-ego “Slim Shady” (with a bit of Roman’s mother British-accented “Martha” thrown in for good measure) was pretty much the only bonafied OFF THE RAILS moment on the whole album, it was was barking, and was an instant classic because of it. Very little else on the album even compared to her legendary verse on Kanye West’s “Monster”, I think people expected a bit more of this side of Nicki -
I think in 10 years time when people look back at Pink Friday, “Romans Revenge” and “Moment 4 Life” are the only tracks people are going to remember as classics, the rest is all just a bit THERE. Stuff like “Blazin”, “Right Thru Me” “I’m The Best” and “Did It On’Em” is all very nice for right now, but it ain’t gonna be on your ipod in a couple of years time unless you have a really big one, I am talking a 160gb here. “Your Love” was great at the time, but its about two years old now and I feel very little reason to listen to it anymore.
I wonder what will happen when the albums Rihanna collab, “Fly” is eventually released (it is being held back until Rihanna quietens down a bit). I think it thinks its a much better song than it actually is. Personally I really do not like it very much AT ALL, wouldn’t be surprised if it was only a very minor hit.
Anyway, today I am celebrating my mini “Moment 4 Life” obsession with a whole day playing nothing but Foxy Brown and Lil Kim with “Moment 4 Life” being chopped in at appropriate intervals, at least those bitches could put out a (semi) decent album.
“OH YEAH”, “I’LL BE”, “LIGHTERS UP” and “THE JUMP OFF” disco (and thats just for starters) anybody? I AM IN.
SHOLA AMA RETURNS (with Toddla T)
So as a preteen gay I used to really love Shola Ama. For about 5 minutes she was my most favourite thing ever, and looking back now I am not entirely sure why. I didn’t really like her songs that much – I guess I quite liked “You’re The One I Love”, her cover of “Someday I’ll Find You” and the track that simultaneously destroyed her career as a proper popstar in the UK, but also launched her a career doing nightclub PA’s from now until eternity performing the garage remix “Imagine” (the remix is probably now equally as famous in the UK for her as her single bonefide smash “You Might Need Somebody”). I guess I just liked the idea of having a one-woman Eternal, and she made Smash Hits a bit more interesting to read.
Anyway since the height of her success Shola released (a surprisingly great) response track to Mario Winans track “I Don’t Wanna Know” entitled “You Should Really Know” which went top 10, put out a third album in Japan and France ONLY called “Supersonic”, she did a couple of tracks with Giggs, a very average UK funky dance track, and now appears to spend her time tweeting her similarly named sister Sadie Ama, and hanging out in Nandos Dalston.
That is, until THIS WEEK when she has popped up doing the vocal on the new Toddla T track, and the lead single off his new album “Take It Back”, a surprisingly enjoyable 90s style piano-based dance track -
Hey well done Shola! This is actually a decent track! I REALLY LIKE IT. I am old now and not as on the ball musically as I should be these days, but a couple of years ago Toddla T was a big name in UK dance music so perhaps there is a slim hope of this getting pushed to slightly bigger things than a couple of internet gay forum posts and a few plays on 1Xtra. I think in the hands of a bigger name (maybe Alesha Dixon pre-floppage) Radio One would be all over this.
I doubt it will be any kind of hit whatsoever, but HERES HOPING.
Welcome back Shola Ama, I missed you, even if nobody else did.
UPDATE : We now have an OFFICIAL VIDEO for this HOT SUMMER SMASH, it even features Shola herself, albeit relatively briefly. Go on Radio One, playlist this, give an Ama a break -
There are also rumblings on the internet that the track steals the piano rift from this track, the slightly unhinged “Remember Love” by Noze, I definitely do hear it myself -
Orthorexia nervosa, hotter than the chew-and-spit
So there is a HOT NEW EATING DISORDER on the block this week that will definitely get gays and girls whipped up into a frenzy, say hello to Orthorexia Nervosa, or obsession with eating healthily. The wikipedia definition of the disorder is -
“Orthorexia nervosa (also known as orthorexia) is a term used by Steven Bratman to describe people who have developed a fixation with healthy or righteous eating and has been referred to as a mental disorder. It is not a medically recognized term.”
To be honest I can see this as being something that is relatively easy to suffer from (to varying degrees) if you pay attention to what you eat.
It is SO EASY these days to get fixated on whether what you are eating is good for you or not, literally EVERYTHING in UK supermarkets these days is labelled with either the traffic light wheel, or a basic grid telling you how much of your daily fat, salt, sugar etc. allowance the product contains (sometimes in a sneaky way, telling you only per “portion” when the supermarkets know too well you are going to eat the whole thing). Just reading this information is enough to make you ponder as to whether you should be eating it or not.
For example I was recently REALLY REALLY hungover, and literally the only thing I fancied eating was a gross disgusting Oriental snack selection from Sainsburys (Prawn toast, won tons, fried dumplings etc) so I got myself out of bed and was most depressed when I was in Sainsburys to discover the traffic light wheel on the pack was ENTIRELY red (ie. REALLY BAD FOR YOU), and that was only for a quarter of the pack! Eating the whole pack would provide you with nearly your entire days salt allowance and very close to your entire days fat allowance. This instantly made me feel really guilty for wanting to eat it, even though it was the only thing that I could stomach eating. Thinking logically I knew that eating the pack wouldn’t kill me or do me any actual harm – I eat really well usually and exercise quite a bit, but just having the information presented there in front of me really made me question whether I should be eating it or not. In the end I ended up buying those packs of broccolli/baby corn and sugar snaps/fine beans and ate half a pack of the Oriental Snack selection and a big pile of vegetables with it so it was “less bad for me”.
Similarly I can’t be the only person that has a vague fixation on making sure I eat my 5 a day, I mean the message is absolutely DRILLED into us these days from every angle. Again I find myself feeling guilty if I don’t feel I’m eating enough fruit and veg (often I eat over my 5 a day), and if I don’t feel like I have been eating enough I make myself a huge halloumi or feta salad and eat that for a couple of days for my dinner to make sure that I am getting enough veg.
Reports in the news that the 5 a day thing is all rubbish, and that fruit is actually bad for you makes everything even more confusing. I often find food reporting in the UK to be really quite inconsistent in the UK – recently I was reading an issue of Mens Health that on one page was telling you how terrible soy sauce was for you and your body (REALLY?), and the literal next page featured a recipe for salmon in a soy sauce marinade, it made NO SENSE. Indeed psychologist Deanne Jade, who is a leader on the disorder has been recently quoted as saying -
‘Often people who take an interest in being healthy become overwhelmed by the conflicting information. People start cutting out food groups, like meat, and become convinced they are “intolerant” to other food groups, like wheat and dairy, so they cut those out too.
‘It is rising among young people because they are impressionable to what they read in magazines and what they see on TV.’
and I really think that is so true. You hear so much conflicting information about what is actually healthy these days, and what you are supposed to be eating. Apparently these days you are meant to eat :
at least 2 portions of oily fish a week, along with 6 eggs, less red meat, more green leafy vegetables, add venison and liver to your diet as they are full of iron, not eat dairy apart from a matchbox sized piece of cheese once a day to get your daily calcium intake, to eat lots of soya as its really good for you but not the heavily processed type – the beans or the milk, then decide whether you actually SHOULD morally be eating soya as a lot of it is imported from South America and a lot of rainforest has been cut down to make way for soya plantations, eat blueberries and pomegranate seeds as these are superfruits, but not apples and pears as they have very little nutritional value and are full of natural sugars etc etc etc…
I could go on and on with examples of what we should eat and what we shouldn’t (seriously I could), but I won’t because unless you follow a ridiculously strict and incredibly planned out diet (more like a food regime), it is impossible to live by all of these food rules, even trying to follow the few that I posted above week in week out would be borderline insanity and very impractical to actually do. No wonder Orthorexia Nervosa is an eating disorder that is currently flourishing, with all the information about food that thrown at us currently, you have to be utterly obsessive about healthy eating to stick to all the rules, like I said, it is borderline impossible.
Personally I think I have quite normal eating habits, I’m very educated about food (and I love it), but I know to a certain (not major) extent this does affect me, it is a bit like I have been indoctrinated by the food police, but it doesn’t control my life. It must be utterly HORRIBLE to have it in a really strong way.
D4D – Love Is Dangerous, dangerous video ALERT
So Lykke Li’s “I Follow Rivers” definitely has a new rival in terms of winning my affection for my favourite music video of 2011, enter Polish electronic group D4D and their track “Love Is Dangerous”. D4D stands for Dick 4 Dick, I was not even aware homosexuality was permitted in Poland.
Whilst I like the track (and I’m absolutely loving the plinky-plong late 80s house style piano and organ stabs, and the sleazy sax solos) the video for me totally overshadows it.
Simple, and probably relatively cheap in its concept, a blonde-bobbed model doing an intense dance routine in a variety of ridiculous outfits in several different locations (a supermarket, a studio, a subway tunnel, a classroom full of topless male models) wins it for me every time. An absolute feast for the eyes, it definitely stands up to repeat viewings, not least to try and learn the (pretty brilliant) dance routine for yourself -
LOVE IT
In other news, absolutely living for the track “I Miss You Beau Velasco” from the new The Death Set album “Michel Poiccard”. A complete contrast from their regular sound, and their tribute to their late founding-member and songwriter Beau Velasco (I assume), it completely and utterly encapsulates my current frame of mind at the moment – my own Mother is currently seriously seriously ill and has been given very little time left to live by doctors which has left me in a bit of a hurricane of emotional turmoil over the last week of my life, this track pretty much sounds like what my head currently sounds like…listening to it on repeat -
I LOVE BELARUS! FEEL IT DEEP INSIDE!
On the subject of the Soviets, check out the frankly GENIUS entry from Belarus into this years Eurovision Song Contest. It was originally a spirit heightening national-pride-Soviet-disco-SS-club-party-anthem from Anastasia Vinnikova named “BORN IN BELORUSSIA” that came complete with a wonderful Soviet Mens Vocal choir on the track (also check out the audience member rolling her eyes at 0.33 seconds in) -
Lets ALL SING -
“BELORUSSIA! USSR time,
Belorussia! crazy and so fine,
Belorussia! got you on my mind,
Youre my passion and not a facist,
USSR! “
Genius
Sadly this original entry was deemed “too political” for the Eurovision Song Contest, and was sadly scrapped completely (which is a shame as I feel “Born In Belorussia” could have been an ALL TIME defining ESC moment).
The track was replaced with the similar sounding “I LOVE BELARUS”, which has a more traditional rock/dancepop feel to it, mixed with a slice of thumping traditional Belorussian flava, and a pounding chorus that basically goes “I LOVE BELARUS GOT IT DEEP INSIDE I LOVE BELARUS FEEL IT ON MY MIND” and is pretty difficult to remove from your brain -
Literally living for the ridiculous key change and POUNDING arm fist strike choreography. 12 points from my heart to the Belarus delegation for sure.
Communist Architecture blows my mind
So I can’t pretend to be an expert on the subject of Communist Architecture at all, in all honesty, until this week I never really even knew buildings like the ones featured below existed until THIS BOOK by FredericChaubin for Taschen came to my attention this week -
I seriously had no idea how amazing some Communist constructions were! I had previously flirted with the subject on account of the insane Romanian Palace of the Parliament building from the Ceausescu regime in Bucharest, which is just of an absolutely insanely, unnecessarily massive scale (it is the largest and heaviest Parliament building in the world I believe), but it was about the depth of my knowledge -
but almost all of the structures in this book were completely new to me, and pretty much blew my mind. Chaubin’s photography is beyond brilliant also, look at some of these (the top photo I have posted of each building is the Chaubin photograph) -
The Druzhba sanatorium in Yalta, Ukraine – I believe that this is a holiday hall that people can stay in, amazing :
The Ukrainian Institute of Scientific and Technological Research and Development, which looks like a flying saucer landed at a bus station, Kiev, Ukraine -
The Wedding Palace, Tbilisi, Georgia. To me this building gets a bit softer the more you see of it, I have posted three angles of it below, and by the third it starts to make sense to me as a place to celebrate Weddings :
Roads Ministry, also Tbilisi Georgia. It is often called the “Lego Building” by Westerners apparently -
.jpg "Tblisi5")
The unfinished House of the Soviets, or “Monster Building” Kalinigrad, Russia. So imposing, I love that it looks like a giant defunct robot -
The Central Research and Design Institute for Robotics and Technical Cybernetics, St Petersburg, Russia. Kind of looks like a cross between a crown and a rocketship to me -
Polytechnic University, Minsk, Belarus -
The Soviet Embassy, Havana, Cuba (what a photograph!). I love the desolate dolphin statue in the forefront, kinda eerie -
and my absolute personal favourite, the Armenian President’s Holiday Home on the Lake Sevan, I think this photo is beyond amazing, I love the icy mountains in the distance, a complete contrast to the front of the picture and the huge mass of water. If anybody out there has this photo larger and in HD please let me know! -
I have shamelessly pilfered the above images from all corners of the internet, so shout me if you want any of them taken down. And a big woah, well done to Frederic Chaubin, your images have seriously taken my breath away and infiltrated/inspired my tiny little mind. Incredible!
And let us not forget, I don’t think Chaubin photographed them (but feel free to correct me), one of the most awe-inspiring Soviet pieces of architecture, the enormous Mother Russia statue, found in Volgograd Russia, and the similar Mother Motherland statue found in Kiev Ukraine. The sheer scale of these is beyond mind-bending at twice the size of the Statue of Liberty, and they are so rarely mentioned, or even seen as landmarks in the Western world -
Mother Motherland statue, Kiev :
Mother Russia statue, Volgograd -
Joaquin Phoenix is hot
I have decided that I really fancy him, even if he does at times look like a chubby(er) John Mayer
Look I fancied him in To Die For AND Gladiator right, slightly deranged blue eyed brown haired sociopath’s always have an advantage in life in terms of winning my heart.
BYE
Melodifestivalen, my secret obsession
Alright, so I have a confession…I have a secret obsession with the Swedish TV show Melodifestivalen. For the past 6 weeks in a row on a Saturday night I have been mysteriously unavailable between the hours of 7 and 9, having used several pitiful excuses to avoid having to leave the house should somebody want to see me socially (excuses I have used included “I trapped my leg in a door last night and I think I trapped a nerve” and “I can’t leave my building at the moment, there has been a gas leak and it is not safe”), Melodifestivalen has, of course, been shown on a Saturday night for the past 6 weeks between the hours of 7 and 9.
Melodifestivalen is ridiculous, and wonderful. It is basically the Swedish search for their entry for the Eurovision Song Contest that year, but in reality it is SO MUCH more than that. It is the biggest TV show in Sweden, often watched by well over half the Swedish population. It has been running for literally billions of years, and is by far its own standalone contest outside the Eurovision Song Contest, with its own rules and traditions, and to be honest, generally the musical standard of Melodifestivalen is much high than Eurovision (that is of course if you like slightly dated shiny Swedish pop, slightly dated ridiculous female-sang Swedish schlager, cringeworthy attempts at being “current” often resulting in bizarre dance music experiments, 80s-style Swedish hair rock, and tradional Nordic ballads).
It is basically a hell of a lot of fun, and has amassed a huge overseas fanbase outside of Sweden – Melodifestivalen could probably get shown on a Sky Digital channel in the UK these days and pull in decent viewing figures, the live webstream at www.svt.se often crashes through huge demand.
A simple blog post is not enough to explain Melodifestivalen properly, there is such a ridiculous amount to write about it. In Sweden there are singers (mostly female) that virtually base their ENTIRE careers around Melodifestivalen, and enter frequently almost year-in-year-out, usually to the delight of homosexuals worldwide. The Queens of Melodifestivalen are probably bitter rivals Lena Philipsson -
and Carola -
both who have represented Sweden in the Eurovision Song Contest several times, and both had a Melodifestiovalen come-back in the Naughties and went on to win again, and again went through to Eurovision (Lena in 2004 with “It Hurts” and Carola in 2006 with “Invincible”). Again Lena and Carola alone deserve multiple blog posts , and I cannot alas pay them their full due dues right here right now. Other FIRM FIXTURES of recent times of Melodifestivalen include :
the ancient, and frequently ludicrous Nanne (who was utterly robbed from winning in 2005) -
The slightly wonky-eyed, voice of a bleating sheep-ed and somehow the sweetheart of the Swedish public Sanna Nielsen -
The mekon-foreheaded, twice winning, alien faced, former Eurovision winner Charlotte Perrelli -
The gammon-legged, slightly desperate, flame-haired disco-beast Shirley Clamp -
and the slightly insane, and utterly wonderful Linda Bengtzing, who has somehow entered Melodifestivalen FOUR TIMES with essentially a re-write of the same song -
I COULD GO ON, but for now at least, I will not.
Back to 2011, and the contest this year. It finished last night and was won by the one-man Backstreet Boys, male Swedish heart throb ERIC SAADE -
and his track “Popular”, a deserving winner I feel (more on him later).
There were 32 tracks entered into the contest this year, and here are my pick of the best of them. The word “best” here has several different connotations. In the context of Melodifestivalen, the “best” song doesn’t always have the best melody or tune, it is often about the performance and how ridiculous it can be made, bonus points are often added for ancient freaky-looking Swedish women singing dated schlager songs that would never exist anywhere outside of Sweden, high-energy dance routines and backing tracks, and inventive use of props or bizarre stage set-ups that make very little sense. So my 2011 favourites -
05 – LOVE GENERATION – DANCE ALONE (Knocked out at the second chance round)
Love Generation were the favourites to win the entire contest. They were given the plum (and often winning) spot of 8th song in the fourth (and last) heat in the contest, and were unleashed upon Sweden with huge amounts of hype and press attention – why? Love Generation are the pet project of Swedish mega-producer (and long term Lady Gaga collaborater) RED ONE. “Dance Alone” is a typical high energy Red One pop production, that isn’t quite a “Bad Romance” but is definitely up there with Nicole Sherzinger’s “Poison”, with meloncholy pop lyrics reminiscent of Robyn’s “Dancing On My Own”. Its a strong track, and despite a few ropey/screechy vocals from the girls, it had a pretty good performance too, yet for some reason Sweden did not take to them. Be it the suffocating amount of Swedish press-hype around them irritating the general public, or modern pop not being what the people wanted this year, the girls came third in their heat clinching them a chance in the second chance round (named Andra Chansen), where they were eventually knocked out by a Stepford Wife singing a song about domestic violence. Its a shame as I think this could have been a European hit outside of Melodifestivalen, and certainly would have done the business at Eurovision this year, POOR LOVE GENERATION.
04 – SANNA NIELSEN – I’M IN LOVE (Fourth in the final)
God bless Sanna. As I mentioned above she has become a stalward of Melodifestivalen over the past few years, having entered now a staggering SIX times at the age of 26, and having finished 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 7th and 8th in the final. This track “I’m In Love” wasn’t quite up to her usual standards, but in a year that is quite low in traditional Swedish schlager, this was a welcome slice of dated ridiculousness. Sanna is such an odd one, the star quality of a librarian, a slightly wonky eye and the voice of a bleating sheep and yet the Swedish people love her, and you can’t really get much more Swedish than this track. Blonde as anything, major-key sparkling pop, huge key-change shoe-horned in at the end, its all there. The performance is slightly bizarre, Sanna trapped in a GIANT OVARY for two verses, only to be unleashed at the end to spaz-dance for her adoring public, yet somehow it (just about) works, despite her awful outfit (and hair). Come back next year Sanna shit-eye, you are always welcome.
03 – DILBA – TRY AGAIN (8th in Heat One)
Dilba had some success a few years ago in Sweden as a guitar-playing singer-songwriter, had a few hits and then promptly disappeared. For some unknown reason she decided to re-emerge in 2011 entering Eurovision as an ELECTRO DIVA with slightly bizarre results. Her song itself “Try Again” is actually very good. A modern clubby electro-pop track, that went on to become a big Swedish hit after the contest, and yet she came LAST in her heat. The problem here is her Tron-inspired performance, which borders on hilarious at times. Dilba is just a little TOO OLD for this these days, and she doesn’t really look particularly comfortable as an ice maiden Tron-inspired electro-diva. She generally shuffles around the stage and looks rather uncomforable, whilst whispering her vocal to the extent it is quite obvious that a backing track with her recorded vocal is being played on top. It is almost comedy gold, everything about the performance is a little bit wrong, and yet probably could have worked in the hands of a more capable performer. But still god bless her for trying, and blessing us gays with a good song to play on our ipods, and a hot mess performance to laugh at when drunk.
02 – ERIC SAADE – POPULAR (WINNER!)
So here we have the winner of the whole contest, and the Swedish selection for Eurovision 2011 in Dusseldorf, and WHAT a winner it is. Eric Saade is the resident Swedish male heart-throb, and he is MASSIVE in his homeland. He entered Melodifestivalen last year with the similarly high-energy pop track “Manboy”, but lost out at the final hurdle to bleating goat-woman Anna Bergendahl with “This Is My Life”. He returned in 2011 with “Popular”, and the rest is history. He walked the final, and it is easy to see why. “Popular” is a relentless slice of one-man Backstreet Boys Moroder-inspired electro-pop ridiculousness, that has been accused of ripping off pretty much every track ever under the sun, not least “Rasputin” by Boney M. But I think this is all a bit irrelevant. The performance is amazing (the breaking of the glass boxes is ridiculous/massive/silly/wonderful etc), despite looking a little bit like a rat Eric is very likeable on stage, and the song is dynamite. Eric can’t actually sing a note and relies heavily on a backing track and backing singers, but hey what does that matter when the song is this much fun. I hope he does well in Dusseldorf.
01 – LOREEN – MY HEART IS REFUSING ME (Knocked out in the second chance round)
And so on to my absolute favourite from 2011, and what I consider to be by far the best song from 2011, and performance. Loreen was a bit of an unknown in the 2011 Melodifestivalen, she had previously come fourth in Swedish Pop Idol in 2004, but hadn’t done a lot since then. She wasn’t favoured to do much in this years MF, but blew everybody away with this song and performance. Without a doubt one of the best (sincere) performances and songs I have seen on the Melodifestivalen stage, this was a bit of a moment when it was UNLEASHED upon the public. A tragic electro-pop song in the vein of Kleerup and Robyn’s “With Every Heartbeat” (indeed this could well have been a Kleerup production, its not, but it certainly sounds like one) with a flawless vocal sung by a hunchback in a red rope top. What more could you want. This warmed the hearts of the Swedish people and made it through to the second chance round, where it was unfortunately knocked out by the same knocked-about Stepford Wife that felled Love Generation (to the huge outrage of MF fans), but Loreen has had the last laugh, “My Heart Is Refusing Me” has gone on to become one of the biggest hits in Sweden from the entire contest, and she has cemented herself in the hearts of gays worldwide, Loreen we love you. UK RELEASE NOW PLEASE.
And so Melodifestivalen finishes for another year, and there is so much more that I could say. Let me finish on one of my personal favourite MF performances from the past few years, the encapsulates everything that I like about the contest, the UTTERLY RIDICULOUS performance by Velvet and her song “The Queen” -
Who ever thought this was a good idea I do not know, but I am pleased that they did. The giant dress! The mid-90s piano-house rip off song! The terrible lyrics to the song! The ludicrous dancing during the quiet part before the final chorus! ONLY IN SWEDEN.
Johnny Depp is a DEAD MAN
I think I have a new favourite.
How I had missed out on seeing this film previously in my life I do not know, but I am so glad that I have found it. On my first viewing alone, it was instantly challenging for the coveted title of my favourite film of all time, now having seen it a few times it has pretty much cemented itself as my favourite.
I definitely seem to enjoy Johnny Depp’s slightly more obscure work to his major roles. To be honest, in general I don’t always care for him much as an actor, he certainly doesn’t excite manic loondem inside of me that he seems to spark in others, but I love some of his roles, obviously “Edward Scissorhands” is a given (for me and most people I imagine), I thought “Crybaby” was ridiculous and phenomenal (and Depp became my personal style icon for life in that role), and now I have my favourite Depp role, William Blake in “Dead Man” to add to my slowly growing list, and my terrible life. I should probably check out “Ed Wood” as my next Johnny Depp slightly obscure venture, it will probably be right what I’m looking for.
Back To “Dead Man”, It definitely isn’t a film for everybody. It is pretty slow paced, with a perfectly timed improvised guitar soundtrack by Neil Young, which is the only music in the whole film and definitely won’t be to the taste of everybody, some pretty intense plotting and photography and an inevitably depressing ending. But Lord Almighty I loved it.
Johnny Depp plays William Blake who is sent to the town of Machine in the Wild West for a job he believes he has been promised, only to arrive and discover there is no such job waiting for him. Penniless and miles from home, Blake becomes stuck in the town of Machine, where a certain chain of events leave him fatally wounded by a bullet. Blake collapses outside town and is discovered by an outcast Native American called Nobody, who tries to removed the bullet lodged in William Blake, but stops when he realises that the bullet is actually keeping Blake alive, if he was to remove it he would instantly bleed to death, and so William Blake becomes a literal dead man walking (hence the title of the film). Nobody believes William Blake to be a reincarnation of the poet William Blake (who Nobody idolises) and decides to take William Blake to the Pacific Ocean which will be his final resting place, and where he can join the spirit world properly.
The climax of the film I thought was absolutely incredible and really amazingly shot. It stuck in my mind long, long after I watched it. The shots of Johnny Depp in a canoe drifting out into the ocean are pretty mind-blowing, as are the shots of Depp in the canoe dying, and witnessing a huge plot moment on the bank of the ocean, unable to do anything about what he can see. The departing shots of the canoe drifting solo from above pretty much burnt themselves on my retina, seriously amazing -
The final scenes aren’t the only good part either, the entire film is glorious, and with a slightly hallucinogenic quality of the film’s pace and its representation of reality, particularly the further into the film, and the closer to death Blake gets, the more twisted and distorted and wild-eyed the film seems to become. From about an hour in Depp’s character William Blake really starts to change as he starts to head towards the end of his life, and his infamy as an outlaw grows, and the film, and scenes that happen from that point onwards really reflect this.
The way “Dead Man” is shot is amazing, at several points in the film the camera switches to a Hitchcock-style first person view to show the view from the eyes of the William Blake character, this is often vivid landscapes of forests, and masses of white-trunk trees,which are just absolute wow.
There are so many fantastic and memorable scenes also – the psychotic fur trapper scene is wonderful, featuring cameos from Iggy Pop and my ultimate all-time DILF Billy Bob Thornton, the lightly comic trading post scene this time featuring a cameo from Alfred Molina, and the pretty gross head-squelch scene which features one of the more (non-Johnny Depp related) iconic images from the film -
However my personal favourite scene of the whole film is the scene where Blake loses Nobody and has an adventure on his own. He is visited by nature spirits (very reminiscent of Princess Mononoke), and gets caught in a brief gunfight where a fawn gets shot instead of Blake killing it. The scene where William Blake crouches down next to the fawn and cradles it, and then paints his face with the blood of the fawn that accidently died because of him is just too beautiful. The fawn here is an innocent victim, just as Blake is, I think in this scene the reality of his situation hits him properly and the character makes peace with himself -
see it here on youtube, my favourite scene in cinema? Quite possibly :
I watched the film online originally (you can find it on youtube or at www.moviewatch.in if you haven’t seen it but would like to), but I had to get the dvd for repeated watches in future. It was originally critically panned, but the film appears to have found an entire new fanbase over time, with several prominent critics now declaring it one of the very best films of the 90s, and a really important American film, and hey surprise surprise I agree. Absolutely amazing film, I could watch it over and over again.
Jack Littman – Sinking Ship
I have been so obsessed with this song lately, I really massively love it. It comes from his debut mixtape (cover above), and I have had it on repeat for the last month or so. I really love his voice. He reminds me of a mix of Antony Hegarty, Diamond Rings and blues from the Deep South OR SOMETHING. I get a bit of a slight melancholy disco vibe from it also, I am amazed it hasn’t exploded through-out the music blog world already, I think its a really special track.
I know precious little about Jack Littman, he isn’t even on youtube, but I don’t think it will be all that long until the world starts to pick up on him a bit…he has his debut EP available for free download on his bandcamp, and whilst it isn’t all ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL like “Sinking Ship” (download it right), most of it is really excellent, my second favourite is the closing track “Undercover Lover”. I think he definitely shows promise for the future. He describes his music as “electro-folk-soul”, “Sinking Ship” I don’t think is a million miles away from Patrick Wolf’s “Lycanthropy” album (which was amazing), I hope this is the direction he persues in future, instead of his more regular folky stuff found elsewhere on his EP, its the type of music that will get him noticed.
From the small amounts that I can find about Jack Littman online, it would appear the he does sport a resonably decent quiff, and is 21 years old -
Anyway, you can download “Sinking Ship” and the rest of his EP here (legally) for free, grab “Sinking Ship” for sure, and if you like that have a listen to the rest IS MY ADVICE, Got2HaveU is pretty awesome too -
George Cox for oki-ni CREEPER BOOT
I really should unsubscribe to the oki-ni email newsletters…they are so incredibly bad for me, flaunting amazing clothes in front of my face (almost) daily that I definitely don’t need, and can’t really afford to spend money on. But every time I go to tick the unsubscribe box I hesitate and decide not to, because sometimes having a little bit of awesome to lust after in life is pretty good.
Object of my desire for the week for me is definitely the George Cox for Oki-Ni creeper boot, which I am loving sick at the moment. My facebook went into a mini-meltdown when these appeared on the site this week with homosexuals declaring their love for them loud and clear. Personally I want the grey and the black ones, obviously I am not quite affluent enough to buy both, but I can probably stretch myself to get one pair, deciding WHICH ONE TO CHOOSE is the real issue at hand here. Black would go with everything, but I think the grey are just a bit NICER. Updates on this huge and pressing issue will follow in future I am sure.
You can’t link images from oki-ni as the site is all flash based, so have a couple of direct links instead -
BLACK - http://www.oki-ni.com/mens-boots/george-cox-for-oki-ni-low-creeper-boot/invt/geo0801gry/
GREY - http://www.oki-ni.com/mens-boots/george-cox-for-oki-ni-low-creeper-boot/invt/geo0800snd/
So freaking fit, I actually get slight butterflies in my stomach looking at them.
There is also a slightly higher sole beige boot, which I love also, but I don’t think it would honestly be particularly practical for the day to day LIVING OF MY LIFE (Cycling in a high creeper boot? I am not convinced it is gonna work)
http://www.oki-ni.com/mens-boots/george-cox-for-oki-ni-nubuck-creeper-boot/invt/geo0803bei/
Kudos Oki-Ni and George Cox, you know how to make a great boot.
Salem – the apocalypse is coming
So drunkenly walking home last night I had a bit of a belated moment to the awesome “King Night” by Salem on my ipod, despite not really having any lyrics it seemed to SPEAK TO ME and related very well to my mood and certain personal things that are happening at the moment in my life.
I love the ridiculous death and doom aspect to the track, and I was a bit more excited than I probably should have been to discover today on youtube that despite not having an official video, several people from around the globe have created their own dark and sinister videos to accompany the track, some of which are pretty much amazing.
The best in my opinion, is this one which is just crazy good. I wanted to watch it, and unsee it, and then watch it again. Whoever made it is an absolute genius, Salem should credit them as having the official video, as they sure as hell aren’t gonna be able to make one better (Be warned it is a little bit SCARY) -
I am in absolute awe of it, one of my personal favourite things in music videos is when the images match up to what is happening in the song (it really irritates me in a video, particularly dance music videos when the visuals have absolutely no correlation to the track). The shot of Lord Nosferatu himself slowly towering over a town whilst the track starts to explode is insane. There are too many highlights for me to mention really, I could blather on about it all day, but the opening shot of the (Japanese?) woman with the veil over her face crying is the absolute perfect image to open on, sinister as fuck! I really love the scenes from Herzog’s footage of the Wodaabe too (the African tribal women) cut into it also. In a different context the images wouldn’t be dark at all, but when spliced with all these dark b-movie images and the track itself, they really lend the video an air of an insane Voodoo ritual or something, one of the tribal women flicking her eyes to the camera at 0.18 seconds in, is creepy as anything for example. If you watch the footage without Salem attempting to end the word in the background it is completely different -
Other stuff in the video blows my mind also, the men with puppet eyes trying to behead a dog for example, the woman covered in bandages sitting down coughing up blood (or perhaps laughing up blood) and the boy chasing a girl through a wood with very evenly spaced trees. Chasing in music videos is ALWAYS a winner, as proved by Lykke Li and Health in previous blog posts below.
Massive respect to you youtube user qilme whoever you are, that video blew my mind, I haven’t been able to stop watching it all afternoon. Quite where you got all the footage from I do not know, but I am very glad that you did.
There are others too, my second favourite is this one, which isn’t quite as frightening, but incredibly hyponotic -
The shots of the woman in white dancing work perfectly with the track in my opinion, I was pretty transfixed by it, and the part where the dancer is spliced against the rocket about to blast off make me very happy, not quite so keen on the random shots of the blonde girl though, but I do like the addition of a siren at the beginning, making the end of the world’s theme sound even more destructive.
and this one here manages to make a Punch and Judy puppet show super-sinister, just by playing the track on top of it. The shots of the monkey getting whacked seem to just be BRUTAL, and don’t get me started on the crocodile. So incredibly VIOLENT -
What a track, and it lends itself to the music video SO WELL.
THE KINGS SPEECH : DID IT SPEAK TO MY HEART?
So I went to see “The Kings Speech” yesterday. In what has apparently been a bit of a lacklustre year for cinema (judging by the general big 5 or 6 films that are getting all the big award nods), this is supposed to be the best of the lot – the one that is most likely to claim Best Picture at The Oscars, pipping the likes of “Inception”, “The Social Network”, “The Fighter”, “True Grit” and “Black Swan” to the post. I have seen “True Grit” and “Back Swan”, and I really enjoyed both (“Black Swan” I think is an absolute future classic that people will still be discussing in years to come), I saw “Inception” also but did not enjoy it so much, for reasons I will not elaborate on right now.
However this post is about “The Kings Speech”, and here are my rambling thoughts. It does feature plot spoilers, so if you don’t know much about the life of George VI and don’t want a historical drama spoiled for you, LOOK AWAY NOW.
You see, I quite liked it, but it was hardly the type of film that I felt like I could LOSE MY SHIT OVER. Like the film “The Queen” which was on a similar note, it just felt far too much like a BBC1 Christmas Day drama special to me. Whilst I think it was absolutely beautifully shot, using really well considered camera angles throughout, and very well acted (When did Colin Firth suddenly being a superb character actor, although I did prefer him in a “A Single Man” true story) it never felt like a proper EVENT FILM to me, and considering the hype you do mentally kind of expect it to be. In reality it was literally absolutely everything that I expected from the film, to the point where I probably didn’t really need to watch it, as mentally in my mind I already could see it, if that makes sense. It was EVERYTHING that I expected it to be before actually seeing it, scene by scene, no surprises.
The other problem that I had, and such is the way with historical dramas, is that I knew EXACTLY what was going to happen at every point in the film, so I did find myself getting a bit bored. I didn’t really get the warm tingly feeling at the end that I have heard so many other people mention (I have read lots of reports on-line of entire cinema’s APPLAUDING at the end of the film – something unheard of normally in the UK) as I knew already that he was going to deliver his speech really well. Perhaps this was a film probably not intended for people like myself.
Personally I would have liked them to have mixed up the storyline a little, perhaps added a subplot of obsession on the side of Jeffrey Rush’s character – I found the shot at the end of the Royal family waving to the crowd with Rush STARING ON in the background inherently creepy, and it would have been great if he had some kind of mental disorder and was imagining himself up there with the Royal Family (especially as Colin Firth refers to him as FAMILY at several points in the film), possibly pushing Helena Bonham Carter over the balcony in the process. Even better would have been if after Colin Firth sacks him mid-way through the film, that the remainder of the film is actually all fictional and from the inside of Jeffery Rush’s obsessive stalking head, cumulating in a BIG REVEAL at the end that what we witnessed was all fake, and he was actually a dangerous psycho causing a threat on the life of the King. I think this would have made a much more exciting film, and I think it would have been a plot twist that not many people would see coming. Maybe a bit like a Royal Family version of “One Hour Photo”. But such is the way of historical drama’s – they have to stick TO THE FACTS, and apparently this film has made people that are not me very happy by doing so.
Whilst by no means a bad film, it is very British and rather charming, I really cannot see “The Kings Speech” being a landmark piece of genre defining cinema that still inspires and excites in 10, 20, 30, 40 years time – to be honest I think like previous Best Film winner Russell Crowe vehicle “A Beautiful Mind” it will be all but forgotten in a few years time, whereas Aronofsky’s “Black Swan” I can see inspiring and influencing cinema for many years to come. I would love “Black Swan” to sneak the Best Picture Oscar right from under the nose of “The Kings Speech”, but to be honest I think such a thing right now is doubtful.
In related Oscar-talk news, I thought Hailee Steinfeld is genuinely AMAZING in her role in “True Grit” for which she is Academy Award nominated for (bizarrely) “Best Supporting Actress”.
It is one of the best-written female roles I have seen for ages, had Portman not had Black Swan on lock down I would imagine she would be a surprise choice for all the main Best Actress awards – EXCEPT she seems to have been oddly nominated as a Supporting Actress for nearly all of her noms this year (like I said above including the Oscars), which really doesn’t make much sense to me as along with Jeff Bridges she IS the film “True Grit” - she is in almost every scene.
Obvious thing to say, but that she is 14, and this is her first film role is pretty extraordinary, she really is most excellent. I hope she gets more film roles off the back of this, she could really develop into quite something over the next few years.
Anyway that is ENOUGH from me on the subject for one evening. “Black Swan” and Hailee Steinfeld to win right.
notaparticularlygreatdancer
