Whitney Houston – SATAN is in her heart

The picture above is of Whitney Houston mid-way through her shambolic comeback tour last year. Somehow it managed to escape being widely reported in the press that her face had swollen up like a balloon, and she appeared to be channelling the face of amazingly grotesque surgery fanatic Joselyn Wildestein. Quite how nobody seemed to notice amazed me, perhaps Whitney just doesn’t sell newspapers any more, but it really was quite the spectical to watch her inflate before my eyes. The reasons suggested were that she was taking steroids for her voice to strengthen it whilst on tour, or that she had quit the crack and had reverted to her natural middle-aged TOAD FORM. But whatever, I just liked pictures of Whitney looking strange, there are more I can post should there be demand for it, but I digress, this post ain’t about Whitney…indeed a proper Whitney Houston blog post would probably take me days, weeks, months and years to assemble…there is SO MUCH amazing stuff to cover, listen to her Wendy Williams interview on youtube if you haven’t ever heard it for a SNEAK PEAK.

This blog post is about THIS, you are probably just better off watching the video instead of having me explain it, its very much an AUDIO-VISUAL EXPERIENCE –

I really wanted it to become a HUGE INTERNET VIRAL SENSATION like that Miss Teen Carolina (or whatever) thing from a few years back, but alas on just under 250,000 youtube views it doesn’t appear to be quite the youtube SMASH HIT I had hoped for just yet.

Anyway, isn’t it just a peach. The first time I watched it, I had to go back and rewatch it, then watch it again. I was pretty obsessed for all of about 15 minutes. It is basically the Philippines version of Britain’s Got Talent, called Showtime, where various acts compete to be the act of the night, and the act with the most votes goes on to perform the next night until somebody else eventually topples them. This little piece of wonder is a drag act named rather disappointingly RYAN ROBLES. His satanic take on Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” (Despite the version he actually performs to being sung by Charice) BLEW MY MIND. I love how it makes very little sense when you rewatch it, but it works an absolute treat. My particular favourite moments are when he gives birth live on stage to a chorus of children singing “MUMMY, MUMMY” and his little a-typical drag queen shoulder roll at about 1.09, which makes me think he hasn’t always been quite so EVIL in his performances. The reaction by the crowd (and indeed the female host) are absolutely priceless too, please ship him over to the UK for Britain’s Got Talent. I hate that show SO MUCH, Ryan Robles would certainly liven it up a bit.

Amazingly, he won this round with a near perfect score and went on to perform twice more, sadly the later performances showed him up to be a little limited in his trade –

Ryan doing some cooking –

Ryan doing some undressing/boxing THING –

Yeah stick to the satanic Whitney impressions in future Ryan. The fun you can have with a few dolls and a bag of flour…

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