I AM A WAITRESS, I LIKE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT STUFF TO ME

So this week finally sees the UK release of the track “Dirty Talk” by American singer Wynter Gordon. GOD BLESS HER. She has been ambling around the pop music landscape for the past 2 or 3 years to the interest of absolutely nobody, it was starting to become reasonably amusing to watch. I was beginning to believe that she could well be the ultimate pop music desperado, but she mysteriously (finally) managed to score herself a massive hit (in Australia) where the track “Dirty Talk” hit number one for several weeks.

I don’t actually know  how it randomly became so big in Australia, she must  have been thrilled – success at last! Personally, I don’t love, but I don’t mind the song myself, I’m a bit surprised that it became so big down under – I think perhaps the very popular Laidback Luke remix might have had something to do with it. The opening lyric of the track “I am a waitress, I like it when you do that stuff to me” confuses me slightly.

Success has been a long time coming for poor old Wynter. Her discography reads like a catalogue of cancelled singles and dance collaborations that never took off the ground. Her wikipedia says she is 25, but I doubt that highly, she has to be 35 at the absolute youngest, Sinitta looks more youthful than she does, she has rather BAGGY EYES (see the “interesting” single artwork for “Dirty Talk” for evidence of this) –

I am however secretly very pleased she has finally found some success somewhere, who remembers when literally tens of gays were declaring her track Surveillance as THE NEW UMBRELLA about 58 years ago –

In reality it was more WE BREAK THE DAWN. It didn’t take off.

Back to “Dirty Talk”, the track has two videos, one of which seems to be styled in the way of a cheap romantic fiction novel for brain-dead secretaries, and the other “proper” video that seems to have been styled by somebody with NO EYES.

The “proper video” –

The (ridiculous) Mills and Boon video –

The Mills and Boon video is some of the most sorry-assed shit I have ever seen in my life, and unsurprisingly it has been mysteriously taken off youtube wherever possible (although the video above must have slipped through Wynter’s dirty net).

Despite all this, I do secretly want Wynter to experience UK $ucce$$ with this track as I find her far too generally ropey and desperate to not have in my life, and as I write this post “Dirty Talk” is climbing the UK itunes chart (it was number 50 last time I looked). So help out an ancient relic claw her way to the top of the charts and spend £0.69 on Wynter here, it will make an old dog very happy –

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dirty-Talk/dp/B004WYUJOW/ref=sr_shvl_album_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1303733725&sr=301-2

and hey who knows, if “Dirty Talk” does manage to become a hit, she might even follow it up over here with a re-release of one of my biggest guilty pleasures from the past few years, the track she did with the Freemason’s “Believer” –

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