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Recently I have been watching Barefoot Contessa on the greatest TV channel as yet known to mankind GOOD FOOD. Barefoot Contessa is an American cooking show hosted by a woman named Ida Garten. It constantly amazes me that the show was ever commissioned as dear old portly Ida seems to know next to nothing about food, food hygiene, food preparation or what actually tastes good together, she generally tends to cover EVERYTHING with half a block of butter and hope for the best. But I digress, I did not mean to moan about Ida Garten, give Barefoot Contessa a watch yourself and prepare to be horrified, I have bigger fish to fry – due to the joy of youtube I have discovered somebody much, much more sinister. Hey kids meet the infamous SANDRA LEE –
I actually can’t believe her show airs in the USA, it sounds utterly ridiculous. Basically she uses 70% pre-packaged stuff in her cooking (a bit like Delia’s How To Cheat At Cooking but MORE EXTREME). She basically just cooks SHIT and uses atrocious ingredients to do so –
She is also very partial to a cocktail and has a section of her show devoted to making cocktails…she has a bit of a reputation for being a drunken tramp.
My favourite recipe of hers is her acclaimed KWANZAA CAKE which I am actually in disbelief that this made it onto the air, its so so so so hilariously awful –
Angel Cake! Pie Filling! Acorns! CANDLES! As if they showed that in all sincerity on television, madness! No British TV chef would ever get away with that, Americans are BIZARRE.
Hey and if that wasn’t awful (and slightly racist towards African-Americans) enough, here is another great Sandra Lee invention…the ICE CREAM BAKED POTATO. A “baked potato” made of ice cream, full of whipped cream, topped with lemon icing and pistachio nuts. I pretty much watched this in utter disbelief thinking WHY AND HOW DID YOU EVEN THINK THIS UP, this is very much like a sketch off the tv show Jam, but very very real –
She really is the tv chef (if chef is even a word that can be applied to her) for people that HATE COOKING
Further-more, This reasonably genius video pretty much describes good old cracked out Sandra IN ONE –
“I’m so used to buy my mushrooms pre-sliced that when I went to the grocery store and they were not there I had to WASH AND CUT THEM MYSELF”
Let us hope and pray that drunken trollop Sandra never quite manages to make it to these shores.